I find it… ironic that my last post, 3 months ago, started out mentioning the article, ‘To the husband whose wife seems angry’… because boy oh BOY have I had some challenging days!
So first, I’d just like to say… everyone is alive. If there is one thing that I’d like to ‘teach’ in this ‘Parenting 101’ class… it’s that parenting is so. stinking. hard. This is where it gets real y’all.
It’s amazing to me that we are all the, ‘Perfect Parents’… BEFORE WE HAVE KIDS! Seriously, is there even a parent among us who hasn’t said ‘when I have children, I’ll never react like that’ or ‘when I’m a parent, my children will respect me, have manners or anything else you may have said inserted here’.
No one ever told me that my own child would glare at me… that my own flesh and blood would one day stare me down in defiance. No one ever told me how these children could touch my heart. For good or bad.
And it’s not all bad… there are just days when the bad… seems to outweigh the good. The challenging days are merely… challenges. Meant to make us all better. Better parents, and yes, better children.
Yesterday I was throwing a birthday party for kid #2 and kid #3… and it felt like everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. I had mismanaged my time… taking a mini ‘get away’ with the kids to see my mom (4 hours away)… even though I KNEW I had planned this party. So I came home Thursday, moderately overwhelmed (but managing it)… spent the evening at the store grabbing everything I’d need for the party. Well… my kids like when I make ‘fancy’ cakes for them… so instead of simplifying and buying a cake… I made one. Then the frosting was too thick… then too thin… and I was out of sugar. Friday was another trip to the store… the decorations were falling, the watermelon I was going to serve was yucky in the center, the cake wasn’t as nice as I wanted, the house needed cleaned… the yard needed cleaned up… oh…. and I forgot to mention, we were making marshmallow shooters as the ‘main attraction’. We bought the wrong pipe and they wouldn’t work! Can you feel my pain yet? (Thankfully, God knew I needed this amazing man in my life… and he got up extra early, went to Home Depot and bought the right pipe, and recut it in time for the party. )
My kids didn’t really want to cooperate, I was crabby, frustrated, barking orders, and crying. Feeling like a complete failure. And you know what? I think I did fail yesterday at parenting. It’s hard. Sometimes… kids don’t want to listen, and that tests you. Sometimes… kids don’t want to clean up after themselves, and that tests you. Sometimes… mommy blows it at parenting.
But you know what? I’m thankful that God gave me a new day. A new day to be a better mom… a less stressed mom. I’m also thankful that God has shown me to be humble enough to apologize to my children when I’ve over reacted.
So there you have it…
the good, the bad… and the in between. I’ll be praying for God to soften my heart where it needs to soften (my responses when I’m stressed), and to toughen me up where I need to be tougher (lovingly steady structure).