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ScReAmEr!.!.!.!

Do you know what a SCREAMER is? Did I hear you say a mom? Ouch, you might be right.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come to the conclusion, that parenting just isn’t for me. Uh… but wait a minute… here I am. Apparently, God thought I should be a parent. And sadly, my kids just didn’t come with a manual. So here I am, parenting. OBVIOUSLY, God figured I needed to learn something!

cry

Now, before I go further, let me be clear. I love my children very much- I just don’t always like them. Yes, there is a difference between love and like. I love them when they are good, and I like them when they are good. I love them when they are pitching fits… but I don’t like them when they are pitching fits. See what I mean?

If you’ve ever listened to Mark Lowry then you’ve probably heard him tell the story of when he was a child, fighting with his brother… and how their mother threw herself over the kitchen sink and cried, ‘I’ve failed! I’ve failed! Lord forgive me for failing with these boys!!!’. I. Can. Relate. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Because you know what? You can’t quit! This is one job in life you can’t send in a resignation letter. (I mean you could… but sorry darlin’- you are STUCK)

One of the things that I’ve discovered about myself? I. Am. A. Screamer. Not intentionally mind you, but these little creatures called children… they’ve made me into a monster!!!

Or… have I made myself into a monster? (ok, not a true monster, but a ScReAmEr!)

Something that I struggle with, as a parent, is: CONSISTENCY. In my effort to maintain some sanity, or so I tell myself, I ignore little fits. Until finally, things have built up, and built up, and built up, and….. BOOM! The nuclear bomb goes off! And I find myself saying, ‘The only thing these children understand is YELLING’. But why? Because I’ve let things build up. So… here I am again. An admitted screamer.

I saw a gif on Google+ the other day… it had two pictures. The Caption read: How my mom is in front of company, how my mom is when no one is around. The face for the first part of the sentence was a calm, sweet, serene face. The second face… crazy woman screaming. I laughed… then stopped. This is me. I mean, not all the time. But… I just laughed at how ridiculous and funny I thought it was, then realized it was me!!!

So… here I am musing at something I need to not only work on, but change. I do not want my children growing up and being like, ‘Man, do you remember when mom would yell at us all the time???’ Eek! So… by the grace of God, this is one of my New Years Resolutions- To become a Non-Screamer. And to lose 20 Pounds.

Anyway, that’s my musings for the day! Have a happy weekend!

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