This momma’s weekend has been… horrible. Hear me out.
My intentions for the past week were good… nice… considerate… and on and on. I specifically planned a trip with the kids to an Alpaca Farm, rather than go alone, so we could experience everything together and so they could get out of the house too. We even ‘made’ an Alpaca earlier in the week, and studied Alpaca’s so we would know a little about them.
So, Friday rolled around, the day we were going to visit one of the Alpaca Farms in the area. The morning was stressful, and kinda crazy. I’m finding that when I am trying to get the kids out the door at a specific time… I GET STRESSED. I’m busying trying to time everything just right… nurse the baby so he won’t get hungry as soon as I get him out of the van. Get the two toddlers dressed and cleaned up so they look presentable… and usually I either forget to do my hair or the princess’s hair! But we made it out the door in one piece, and ready to go.
A dear friend of mine was going to watch the baby while I took the toddlers to see the Alpaca’s… but the more I thought about it, the more I thought prince charming #1 should stay behind also. So… with just Miss Princess in tow, we finished our travels to the Alpaca Farm.
Let me first say, it was a beautiful farm. A beautiful day, and I was looking forward to talking to someone about my new hobby! We arrive at the farm, and the gift shop is open… there are lots of cars around, but I only saw one gentleman, and he vanished by the time I got out of the van. So we head to the gift shop… long story short, it was a very small shop, and we head outside to see the Alpacas. After looking through one fence, we head to the next one and I notice a large dog… and told my little girl not to panic. Can you see where this is going?
I lifted my princess up to see over the fence, and the next thing I know, there are three very large, but very friendly dogs coming our way. Friendly or not… the little princess panics. And by panic, I mean goes HYSTERICAL. Thankfully i was already holding her, or she would have ran. I see the terror rising in her face and hear it in her breathing. I’m trying to calm her, but to no avail. Once the third and largest dog reaches us, she SCREAMS. I don’t mean a yell… I’m talking SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY. I glance around for SOMEONE- ANYONE to come get these dogs… because at this point, even though I could tell the dogs were very well trained and very nice… I don’t know what to do, and I really don’t know what these dogs are going to do with me holding onto my hysterical little girl.
Finally someone comes, and older gentlemen, and is trying to tell my little girl that they are really nice, and are actually trying to protect her because they don’t know why she’s upset… but let me tell you, there was no calming her. She starts screaming, ‘I WANNA GO HOME!!!!’ and I apologize and head towards the van.
Now, me in all my brilliance… I tell her to look over my shoulder so she can see the dogs are NICE and not doing ANYTHING to hurt us… she looks over my shoulder and starts screaming, ‘THEY’RE CHASING US!!!!’. I turned around to see one of the dogs curiously walking (very slowly walking) behind us… the poor dog. We finally make it to the van, get in… I say over and over how she didn’t have to worry, etc. etc. and then I’m just DONE. Emotionally. I just cry and cry on my way to get the other toddler and the baby.
Long story short… my friend has a very SMALL dog… she always puts the dog somewhere while my kids are there, ‘just in case’. At some point, the poor little guy came out, and prince charming #2 FLIPS OUT. Over a little dog. Now, as you can imagine… at this point, I’m spent. My friend offers to keep the kids for awhile so I can have some ‘chill’ time… after some resistance (because I never want to put anyone out) I agree and leave. It. Was. Wonderful.
Then comes Saturday. The hubby had plans for helping someone… and the kids were kinda ok, but then when he got home he brought company and the kids went CRAZY. Crazy hyper. For hours. Finally, after getting into huge trouble, they were carted off to bed.
And next… Sunday. Now, i’m not sure why… maybe we’ve been too busy… maybe they are going through a phase… I really don’t know. But the kids have just been little boogers. Hyper and not listening well. It’s felt like a long weekend… I’ve felt like I am so done being a mommy. And then…
And then I read a news article about 5 people killed in an automobile and motorcycle accident. 4 were on motorcycles in pairs, and the 5th person was a passenger in the SUV. In an instant, their Saturday afternoon drive was ended in death. And I’m sitting over here in my frustration… and start reflecting.
I’m thankful for my children… Sometimes I get wrapped up in the moment and get frustrated, wondering how I’m going to make the next few years… wondering what in the world was I thinking having three kids in such a short time… but I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I wouldn’t give any one of them back. I wouldn’t change having any of them. They are… perfect.
And… I’m thankful for my husband. It seems to almost always work out, that when I’m frustrated with the kids, he’s cool. When he’s frustrated with them… I’m cool. We can all get caught up in our frustrating moment of life and stay frustrated… or we can pause, put everything in perspective and choose to be thankful. So tonight…